Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone With An Addiction

When Words Cut Deep: Separating the Person From the Addiction

Harsh words spoken during addiction can linger long after sobriety begins.

In this episode, Andrea explores impulse dysregulation, emotional erosion, and how to understand addiction without tolerating disrespect.

In This Episode:

• Addiction’s impact on impulse control
  • Emotional harm and self-worth
  • Explaining behavior vs excusing it
  • Protecting your dignity with boundaries

💛 Continue the Journey

Visit:
👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

Explore Andrea’s books:
👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X

Including:
• Saving You Is Killing Me
• Tainted Love
• Saving Me: One Day at a Time

💛 About Andrea

Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and formal training in Positive Psychology. As an author and advocate for those loving someone with addiction, she blends science, lived experience, self-compassion, courage, and community — helping you reclaim yourself without shame.

Stories of Strength & Resilience

Today's episode features one of the courageous contributors from our collective book,

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective.

Every chapter in this book tells a true story. These are stories of loving someone with an addiction, navigating heartbreak, holding onto hope, setting boundaries, finding courage, and discovering that healing is possible.

Some contributors chose to share their full names. Others chose to remain anonymous or use a pseudonym. No matter how they chose to tell their story, every voice in this collection is real, honest, and offered with the hope that someone else will feel a little less alone.

We are deeply grateful to every contributor for their bravery, vulnerability, and willingness to share their lived experience. Your stories are helping break the silence surrounding addiction and reminding others that healing begins when we realize we are not walking this journey alone.

📚 Order Your Copy

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective

Available now in paperback and digital editions wherever books are sold.

Search the full title on Amazon or use the link in the show notes.

💛 Share Your Story

Has this episode stirred something in your heart?

If you have a story that could encourage, comfort, or inspire someone else who is loving a person with an addiction, I would love to hear from you.

We are already beginning to gather stories for future volumes of the SYKM Collective, and your voice could become the hope someone else is searching for.

Please email me at:

andrea.livelifehappy@gmail.com

Subject Line: Share My Story – SYKM Collective

🌿 Help Spread Hope

If this episode touched your heart, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it.

You can also help by:

• Recommending the book to your support group.
• Donating a copy to your local library.
• Gifting one to a therapist, recovery coach, doctor's office, or treatment centre.
• Sharing this podcast with someone who feels alone.

One story has the power to change a life.

Thank you for listening and for being part of the Saving You Is Killing Me community.

Remember…

Your story matters.
Your healing matters.
And together, we're reminding the world that no one has to walk this journey alone.

Sending hugs,

Andrea Seydel

 

The Push-Pull Pattern: Why Addiction Creates Emotional Highs and Lows

Why does it feel so intense?

This episode explains intermittent reinforcement, dopamine spikes, and the psychological magnetism of chaos. Andrea explores why instability can feel addictive — and how to step off the roller coaster.

In This Episode:

• Dopamine cycles and emotional volatility
  • Why chaos can feel like connection
  • The psychology of push-pull dynamics
  • Choosing consistency over intensity

💛 Continue the Journey

👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

Books:
👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X

💛 About Andrea

With advanced training in happiness studies and resilience, Andrea offers grounded support for navigating addiction relationships.

Stories of Strength & Resilience

Today's episode features one of the courageous contributors from our collective book,

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective.

Every chapter in this book tells a true story. These are stories of loving someone with an addiction, navigating heartbreak, holding onto hope, setting boundaries, finding courage, and discovering that healing is possible.

Some contributors chose to share their full names. Others chose to remain anonymous or use a pseudonym. No matter how they chose to tell their story, every voice in this collection is real, honest, and offered with the hope that someone else will feel a little less alone.

We are deeply grateful to every contributor for their bravery, vulnerability, and willingness to share their lived experience. Your stories are helping break the silence surrounding addiction and reminding others that healing begins when we realize we are not walking this journey alone.

📚 Order Your Copy

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective

Available now in paperback and digital editions wherever books are sold.

Search the full title on Amazon or use the link in the show notes.

💛 Share Your Story

Has this episode stirred something in your heart?

If you have a story that could encourage, comfort, or inspire someone else who is loving a person with an addiction, I would love to hear from you.

We are already beginning to gather stories for future volumes of the SYKM Collective, and your voice could become the hope someone else is searching for.

Please email me at:

andrea.livelifehappy@gmail.com

Subject Line: Share My Story – SYKM Collective

🌿 Help Spread Hope

If this episode touched your heart, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it.

You can also help by:

• Recommending the book to your support group.
• Donating a copy to your local library.
• Gifting one to a therapist, recovery coach, doctor's office, or treatment centre.
• Sharing this podcast with someone who feels alone.

One story has the power to change a life.

Thank you for listening and for being part of the Saving You Is Killing Me community.

Remember…

Your story matters.
Your healing matters.
And together, we're reminding the world that no one has to walk this journey alone.

Sending hugs,

Andrea Seydel

 

Self-Care Is Not Selfish: A Lifeline When You Love Someone with an Addiction

Today is International Self-Care Day, and we're talking about why self-care isn't selfish—it's essential, especially when you love someone with an addiction.

In this episode, I explore what self-care really means through the lens of positive psychology, happiness studies, and my HAPPY Framework. Together, we'll look at practical ways to care for your health, protect your energy, strengthen your relationships, reconnect with your purpose, and remember that your life matters too.

If you've been pouring all of your time and energy into someone else's addiction, this episode is your gentle reminder to begin pouring some of that love back into yourself.

In This Episode:

• Why self-care becomes a lifeline
• The Four C's: Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Courage & Community
• Self-care through the HAPPY Framework
• Simple ways to prioritize your own well-being

📚 Featured Resource

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective

Available wherever books are sold.

If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who may need it.

Remember...

Your story matters. Your healing matters. And together, we're reminding the world that no one has to walk this journey alone.

Sending hugs,

Andrea Seydel

Today is launch day!

I am beyond excited to celebrate the release of our newest book:

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective.

Today also happens to be International Self-Care Day, and I truly couldn't imagine a more meaningful day to release this book.

In this special episode, I share why self-care is so much more than bubble baths and spa days—especially when you love someone with an addiction. Self-care becomes the courageous decision to stop abandoning yourself while trying to save someone else.

Drawing from the science of positive psychology, happiness studies, and the heart of the Saving You Is Killing Me community, we explore why healing begins with four essential practices:

✨ Self-Compassion
✨ Self-Care
✨ Courage
✨ Community

These Four C's have become the foundation of healing within our SYKM community and are woven throughout every chapter of this remarkable collection.

This book features the courageous stories of twenty-seven contributors who chose vulnerability over silence. Their stories remind us that while every journey is unique, none of us has to walk it alone.

A heartfelt thank you to every contributor who trusted us with your stories. Your honesty, courage, and generosity will help readers around the world feel seen, understood, and hopeful.

I'm also deeply grateful to Mike O'Riley, founder of The Art of Recovery Magazine, for writing such a meaningful foreword. Mike's personal experience with addiction and loss beautifully reminds us that while addiction changes lives, hope and healing are always possible.

How You Can Help

If this book speaks to you, I'd love your help in spreading hope.

❤️ Share it with someone you love.

📚 Donate a copy to your local library.

🏥 Gift one to a counsellor, therapist, doctor's office, recovery coach, or treatment centre.

👥 Recommend it to your support group.

Sometimes one story is all it takes to remind someone they are not alone.

Order Your Copy

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective

Available now in paperback and digital editions wherever books are sold.

(Search the full title on Amazon or use the link in the show notes.)

In This Episode

• Why we intentionally launched on International Self-Care Day
• What self-care really means when you love someone with an addiction
• The Four C's of healing: Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Courage, and Community
• The science behind resilience, well-being, and hope
• Celebrating the twenty-seven courageous contributors
• How you can help bring this book into the hands of someone who needs it

If this episode touched your heart, please consider sharing it. Every conversation helps break the silence surrounding addiction and reminds someone that healing is possible.

Thank you for celebrating this launch with us.

Sending hugs,

Andrea Seydel

Tainted Love (Part 3): Reclaiming Your Power No Matter What You Decide

When you’ve been living in a relationship impacted by addiction, the decision to stay or leave can feel overwhelming.

But underneath that question is something even more important:

“How do I not lose myself in this?”

This episode explores a powerful shift — moving from focusing on the decision itself to focusing on who you become while making it.

Addiction relationships often create something known as identity fusion, where your sense of self becomes deeply tied to managing someone else’s behavior. You may find yourself becoming the fixer, the rescuer, the stabilizer — slowly losing connection with your own needs, values, and identity.

Reclaiming your power means gently separating yourself from that dynamic.

It means remembering something essential:

You are not the outcome.
You are not the relapse.
You are not the chaos.

You are a whole person outside of this relationship.

This episode also introduces the concept of post-traumatic growth — the idea that through consciously processing difficult experiences, people can emerge with stronger boundaries, clearer values, and deeper self-trust.

Not because the experience was easy.
But because they faced it honestly.

This is where true empowerment begins.

Not in choosing perfectly — but in choosing yourself in the process.

Whether you stay.
Whether you leave.
Whether you take space.

You can reclaim your power in any direction.

If this resonates, this is the heart of Andrea’s book:

👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction

A guide to help you walk this path with strength, clarity, and self-compassion — without losing who you are along the way.

Continue the Journey

👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

Explore Andrea’s books:
👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X

About Andrea

Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and integrates positive psychology, resilience science, and lived experience to support individuals navigating addiction relationships. Her work is rooted in helping you reclaim your identity and rebuild your life through Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Community, and Courage.

 

Tainted Love (Part 2): Stay or Go? The Psychology Behind Impossible Decisions

Few decisions feel heavier than this one:

“Do I stay… or do I go?”

When addiction is part of a relationship, this question rarely has a simple answer. It becomes layered with hope, fear, history, love, and uncertainty — all at once.

This episode explores why this decision can feel so paralyzing and emotionally overwhelming. From a psychological perspective, many people find themselves caught in patterns like trauma bonding, where emotional highs and lows become intertwined, making it difficult to step away even when things are painful.

At the same time, the brain is trying to protect you. It searches for certainty. It tries to predict outcomes. It wants to avoid regret. And so the question becomes bigger and heavier with time.

But here’s where a powerful shift begins:

The decision is not about choosing perfectly.
It’s about choosing in alignment with who you are now.

This episode helps you move away from the pressure of finding the “right” answer and toward a deeper understanding of your values, your needs, and your emotional truth.

Because clarity doesn’t come from overthinking.

It comes from reconnecting with yourself.

If you’ve been stuck in the mental loop of stay or go, this episode will help you begin stepping out of that cycle and into a place of grounded decision-making.

And if this resonates, this is exactly what Andrea explores in depth in:

👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction

A compassionate and practical guide for navigating one of the most difficult decisions you may ever face.

Continue the Journey

👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

Explore Andrea’s books:
👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X

About Andrea

Andrea Seydel is an author, speaker, and advocate who combines her Master’s in Happiness Studies, positive psychology training, and lived experience to support those navigating addiction relationships. Her work focuses on helping individuals make aligned decisions rooted in clarity, courage, and self-trust.

The pre-order is officially here!

I am beyond excited to announce the release of our newest book:

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective.

This book has truly been a labour of love.

Twenty-seven courageous individuals from the Saving You Is Killing Me (SYKM) community came together to share their deeply personal stories of loving someone with an addiction. These are stories of heartbreak, hope, courage, resilience, healing, and the incredible strength it takes to keep moving forward.

In this episode, I share the story behind the book—why I felt called to create this collective, how it came together, and why I believe these stories have the power to help countless others realize they are not alone.

If you have ever loved someone with an addiction, this book was written for you.

Inside these pages you'll discover that while every story is unique, so many of the emotions are shared. The confusion. The fear. The hope. The grief. The walking on eggshells. The longing to rescue someone you love.

Most importantly, you'll discover that even when love is not enough to save someone else, it can become the beginning of saving yourself.

A heartfelt thank you to every contributor who trusted us with their story. Your courage will make a difference in the lives of readers around the world.

I'm also deeply grateful to Mike O'Riley, founder of The Art of Recovery Magazine, for writing such a meaningful foreword and helping set the tone for this important collection.

The official paperback launch is July 24 – International Self-Care Day. If you're listening before then, you can pre-order the digital edition today. If you're listening after July 24, both the paperback and digital editions are available wherever books are sold.

📚 Order Your Copy

When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective

Available wherever books are sold.

In This Episode

• Why I created When Love Is Not Enough
• The story behind the SYKM Collective
• Why twenty-seven brave individuals chose to share their stories
• The meaning behind the title
• How stories create connection, hope, and healing
• Why this book is for anyone who has loved someone with an addiction

If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it. Together, we can help more people feel seen, supported, and a little less alone.

Sending hugs,
Andrea Seydel

 

Tainted Love (Part 1): When Addiction Warps the Relationship You Once Knew

At some point, many people find themselves quietly asking a question they never thought they would have to ask:

“What happened to us?”

What once felt stable, connected, and loving slowly begins to shift. The person you knew is still there… but something feels off. Conversations feel different. Energy feels different. The relationship begins to feel unpredictable in a way that is hard to explain.

This episode explores what happens when addiction slowly warps the emotional foundation of a relationship, creating what Andrea calls tainted love. It’s not that love disappears — it’s that it becomes entangled with chaos, inconsistency, and emotional instability.

Psychologically, this often involves patterns like intermittent reinforcement, where moments of connection are mixed unpredictably with moments of hurt, confusion, or distance. This creates a powerful emotional pull, making it difficult to step back even when things no longer feel healthy.

Over time, this dynamic can distort your sense of what is normal. You may begin adjusting, accommodating, and trying to hold onto the version of the relationship that once existed.

But here’s the truth that begins to emerge:

When love becomes unpredictable, it also becomes confusing.
And confusion is often the first sign that something deeper has shifted.

This episode invites you to begin seeing that shift clearly — not with judgment, but with awareness.

If this resonates, this is the exact dynamic explored more deeply in:

👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction

A powerful guide for understanding when love has changed — and how to begin navigating what comes next.

💛 Continue the Journey

👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

Explore Andrea’s books:
👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X

💛 About Andrea

Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and is trained in Positive Psychology and resilience science. Through both lived experience and professional training, she supports individuals navigating the emotional complexity of loving someone with addiction — helping them reconnect with themselves through Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Community, and Courage.